Every parent wants their kids to be happy and well-adjusted. But unfortunately, many parents may not know what it takes to raise children who are not easily frustrated and have an overall positive attitude.

Many parents tend to be overly permissive in order to keep their children happy. While this may seem like a good approach, its disadvantages might get in the way of raising children into individuals with a progressive, healthy mindset.

This is because overly permissive parenting does not involve regulation or setting limits that foster positive behavior in kids. As a result, they often struggle with impulse control, which may lead to several behavioral issues.

So, how can you keep your children happy while ensuring they grow up with a responsible attitude toward life?

You can nurture positive habits that will help your children learn to find happiness. In this blog, we are going to discuss the seven habits of happy children, so continue reading.

Habit 1: They Are Proactive

Being proactive is a fundamental skill children should learn at a young age. Being proactive helps achieve goals, overcome challenges, and build healthy and positive relationships. Proactive children take control of their lives and, hence, have a higher confidence in their abilities and greater happiness.

Proactivity helps children:

• Take responsibility for their choices and actions
• Solve problems without depending on others
• Set realistic goals and work toward accomplishing those goals
• To be optimistic
• To be grateful for what they already have
• To be resilient

How to Nurture Proactivity in Your Kids?

As parents, you can perform the following activities to foster proactive behavior in your kids.

• Help them address negative statements about themselves: Children develop pessimistic perceptions about themselves when they attribute their failures or other unfavorable events to their internal quality. For instance, they may think of themselves as stupid upon getting poor grades. You can address this issue by encouraging your kid to think of alternative explanations and providing evidence that self-underestimation is not the right way.
• Encourage them to be proactive in the face of adverse events: Your child may be facing multiple problems in academics, sports, or social interactions. Instead of letting them deal with their problems without a clear strategy, you can ask them to create a list of solutions for every problem. Once the list is ready, ask them to pick solutions they think are most appropriate. While they may not be successful in every attempt, they will learn to think of solutions and never give up.
• Help them set personal goals: Proactive people set personal goals and work to achieve those goals. To encourage proactivity in your kids, you can encourage them to set goals and help them identify steps and key pointers that can help them towards accomplishing objectives. Create a list of goals and check off each one as it is achieved.
• Make them challenge negative thinking: Watch out for behaviors that denote hopelessness and other negative emotions in your child. These behaviors originate from negative experiences. But instead of letting them abstain from having necessary life experiences, you can encourage them to keep note of things that could lead to adverse events. With those points in mind, they will be able to move on and look forward to having new experiences.

Habit 2: They Begin Everything with the End in Mind

Having the end or conclusion of a task in mind helps remain focused on establishing goals. It is one of the fundamental habits to develop in children. With this habit, they plan and strategize steps that help them accomplish their goals.

Children who keep the end in mind do not become stuck and experience frustration for not being able to progress. This habit encourages them to reverse engineer the outcome of any problem and identify steps toward the solution.

Think of a jigsaw puzzle. Its packaging comes with an image of the solved puzzle. This image has been put there so the children would remember the outcome while playing. This makes it easy for them to solve the puzzle.

How to Develop a Keep-The-End-In-Mind Mindset in Children?

There are many other ways parents can help their children think of the outcome first and then identify steps to solve anything playfully. This not only develops problem-solving skills but also helps children learn to keep their frustration under control.

Here are the ways you can teach your kids to always keep the outcome in mind before starting any task:

• Be the change you want to bring: Children emulate what their parents or elders do. So if you want them to avoid distractions by keeping the outcome in focus, embrace the mindset of prioritizing goals. Your kids will follow suit.
• Help your children learn the value of delayed gratification: It is a good idea to tell your children why something good is worth waiting for.
• Set small goals for them: Your kid needs the confidence to achieve future success, and confidence can be built with a sense of accomplishment. The best way to help them develop this sense is to set small goals they can focus on. For instance, you can ask them to finish their homework on time before they can watch their favorite TV show. Don’t forget to acknowledge their accomplishment.
• Praise efforts, not just success: Your kid will succeed sometimes, and sometimes they won’t. What’s necessary for them to be reminded of is the importance of trying. The most effective way to do this is to praise their efforts, even if they haven’t been able to get the desired outcome.

Habit 3: They Put First Things First

Children, like adults, can get stressed when they fail to finish things on time. Teaching children to prioritize the most important tasks is an effective way to ensure they remain more relaxed. You can recall times when you were stressed or worried about failing to finish a certain task simply because you didn’t prioritize it the way it should have been.

Children who put first things first possess the following attributes:

• They are better at managing time and organizing things.
• They have impressive problem-solving skills.
• They are good at regulating emotions and have enhanced interpersonal skills.
• They are flexible and have greater adaptability.

How to Develop the Habit of Putting First Things First In Children?

Aside from becoming role models, parents should work on the following steps to cultivate the habit of prioritization in children:

• Formulate weekly plans: This involves creating a list of tasks that children must accomplish throughout the week. The contents of the list should be sorted based on their importance. Use a calendar to help the children with time management.
• Role-play about the consequences: For example, you can act as if you have failed a math test. Or, you can ask your child to imagine this scenario. This will help them understand the consequences of not being well-prepared.
• Encourage maintaining an activity log: Maintaining an activity log may seem like a boring task for kids. But with some gamification, you can make it a more interesting task. You can ask your child to use their creative abilities to decorate or design their weekly logs.

Habit 4: They Think Win-Win

With fierce competition in almost every aspect of life, many people tend to forget that there are enough good things for everyone. To ensure everyone has a fair share, it is vital to foster a win-win attitude. Parents can cultivate this same mindset in their children to make them happy and caring. This mindset also smoothens the relationship between the parents and children.

Tips for Parents to Develop a Think Win-Win Habit in Their Children

• Engage them in a healthy discussion: Explain how essential it is to be competitive, but not at the expense of relationships. Describe the pitfalls of trying to be a winner at home. Your children must be taught to think of solutions that benefit everyone. Not only will this help reduce problems at home, but your children will be happy.
• Settling sibling disputes: Encourage your children to adopt a win-win approach when resolving disputes among themselves. Make sure that you do not mediate; let them analyze the problem on their own and come up with a workable solution.

Habit 5: They Seek First To Understand, Then to Be Understood

Understanding others before being understood refers to listening before talking. Taking time to listen helps you process information in a better way, allowing you to reach a higher level of communication. While children may not be able to process information like adults, they can be taught listening as a skill.

Children who are good listeners find it easy to regulate their emotions and solve their problems. They tend to be more compassionate because they get a good grasp of others’ points of view. And this contributes significantly to their internal happiness.

How Can You Teach Young Children to Listen?

A few activities that you can perform to cultivate the habit of listening more in your children include the following:

• Listen to what your kid says for a few minutes. They might get frustrated at first and will be curious why you did what you did. Discuss everything you listened to and how they felt when you did not speak. Then, talk to your kid and have them ignore what you say. Tell them how you felt about it.
• Play a game where both of you try to convey messages through body language. Use gestures to represent emotions (sad, happy, bored, frustrated, etc.) without saying anything.
• Explain how varying the tone while saying a phrase can change its meaning. For instance, emphasize different words when you say, “I didn’t say you did it,” and tell your kid how it changed the meaning of the phrase.

Habit 6: They Synergize

Synergy involves combining good ideas and making them work better. It allows two people to work together and create a better solution that neither would have thought of alone. It can be referred to as “not your way or my way, but a better way.”

Like other habits above, the concept of synergy can be taught to children. The goal is to help them become good team players. However, it’s important not to confuse synergy with dependency. Your child should also be taught how to take the initiative and continue with the process on their own.

Synergy Activities for Kids

• Choose a problem and discuss it with your children, encouraging them to propose their own solutions. Make sure to describe the problem properly. Get their solutions and note them down, including the one you have thought of. Work with the kids to choose the best solution or combine all the ideas to create a better one.
• Create a 15-minute program during which you and all your kids drop everything and complete chores.
• If you have more than one kid, ask each to share a list of good habits of their siblings. Using these lists, work together to create a plan on how they can synergize on sports, homework, and chores. Perform the same activity using your child’s friends if they don’t have any siblings.

Habit 7: They Sharpen the Saw

“Sharpen the saw” is a specific term referring to creating balance in life. Its origin is a story of a man who was sawing a tree but wasn’t making any progress. When someone asked why he didn’t stop for a moment to sharpen the saw, he replied that he was too busy sawing the tree.

This story reminds us that productivity can be achieved only with balance. Your body, brain, and soul need time to relax in order to retain their ideal function.

Children’s Activities to Sharpen the Saw

• It would be ideal to dedicate a place in the home where children can spend their time engaging in unstructured activities. Fill this corner with puzzles, learning games, and storybooks.
• Take your kids outdoors to enjoy and appreciate nature. Outdoor activities have several benefits, such as reduced symptoms of depression, improved focus, and enhanced academic performance, all of which contribute to increased happiness.

Conclusion

Raising happy children with a sense of responsibility is a challenging goal that requires parents to be dedicated and focused. By nurturing the habits mentioned above, you can set your children up for a happy and prosperous future.

While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to raising good children, the evidence says that parenting styles matter greatly in kids’ development. A parenting style can be good or bad, depending on how it shapes the interaction between you and your child. One particular parenting style called authoritarian parenting has gained much attention, but not for the right reasons.

Authoritarian parents are the strictest and tend to be the exact opposites of permissive parents. They have a long list of rules that children must abide by but do not expect opinions or feedback in return. But this is not to say they have ill intentions toward their children. In fact, the opposite is true, as they want their kids to be well-rounded, capable, civilized, and successful individuals.

But, as evident as it sounds, there are A LOT of drawbacks of authoritarian parenting. For example, children who must conform to a strict regimen often base their self-worth on whether or not they have obeyed instructions. As a result, their ability to make choices gets hindered, which affects their self-esteem significantly.

This blog post discusses the most significant downsides of authoritarian parenting. The purpose is to explain why it is not always the best idea to control every aspect of your kid’s life. We will also discuss alternative parenting styles that promote an environment of warmth and respect among parents and children, so read on.

What Are The Characteristics Of Authoritarian Parenting?

As a parent, you want your kids to socialize with the culture and values you have established in your household. And if you are an authoritarian parent, you may want to enforce rules in a way that might not necessarily resonate with your kids.

Some characteristics that make your parenting style exhibit authoritarian traits are as follows.

1. Showing little Warmth

You are most likely an authoritarian parent if you are inclined to become unfriendly and harsh toward your children over some matter as minute as being childishly careless for a moment. Your reaction may be an angry stare or a yell.

2. Shaming Instead Of Being Supportive

Making your children follow rules and norms through a process that considers their emotions will instill good morals. However, doing it through shaming or belittling will do more harm than good. This is because shaming makes your kids despise you, and they will show their emotions through a bad attitude.

3. Zero Tolerance for Misbehavior

Children can sometimes exhibit undesirable behavior, which is not something unusual. But authoritarian parents do not expect opposition even at this level. Also, they do not have the patience to explain why their children must not adopt certain behaviors.

4. Lack of Trust in Children

Children must be taught to make good choices in their lives. And once they learn that, they should be trusted to go ahead and choose what they deem right. Sure, their actions must not go unchecked, and they must be gently guided through the process.

However, this can be too much to ask from authoritarian parents.

Instead of letting them make choices and face consequences, authoritarian parents tend to hover around and ensure their kids do not make mistakes.

5. Not Ready To Negotiate

For authoritarian parents, there are no gray areas. They view situations as black and white, and they do not find themselves ready to compromise. So when making decisions or defining rules, they do not expect their kids to have a say in the process.

The Downsides of Authoritarian Parenting

As stated above, authoritarian parents are strict guardians who do not believe in compromising or discussion. They expect their kids to follow their rules without expressing their opinion.

While rules and boundaries are necessary means of teaching your children ethical values and making them morally responsible, being harsh and inflexible can be counterproductive.

Here are the top downsides of authoritarian parenting.

1. Impact on Child Development

Evidence suggests that authoritarian parenting can have a less desirable or even negative impact on a child’s overall development. Shaming, harsh punishments, and threats can lead to long-term behavioral problems in kids. When they grow up, they are more likely to show anti-social, aggressive, and defiant behaviors.

Authoritarian parenting can also cause physical health problems in children. Children reared in authoritarian familial structures usually suffer from higher levels of depression, which causes anxiety, restlessness, inability to control emotions, and upset stomach. These changes affect a child’s health adversely.

2. Increased Risk of Anxiety and Depression

Authoritarian parents do not respond well to their children’s requirements or needs. Their harsh and non-nurturing attitude invokes feelings of instability and insecurity in children, affecting their mental health at a very young age.

So when the children of authoritarian parents grow up, they are more likely to have anxiety, depression, and other mental issues than children raised by permissive or authoritative parents.

3. Poor Self-Esteem and Low Self-Worth

Authoritarian parenting is characterized by rigidness, demand, control, and an attitude that denies the children’s right to express opinions. While authoritarian parents carry out all this to ensure the safety and well-being of their kids, they forget or care little about its impact on children’s emotional and mental health. According to studies, children brought up in such an environment lack self-confidence and have increased inferiority and insecurity.

4. Difficulty with Moral Reasoning

Authoritarian parenting develops blind obedience, which makes them submit to authority. This tiger parenting style doesn’t encourage children to question. As a result, they are likely to perform a task regardless of whether or not it is ethically right.

Hence, children met with negative reinforcement without a solid reason are at a high risk of developing socially irresponsible behavior.

5. Potential for rebellion and resentment

Experts have found that children brought up in authoritarian families can develop problematic and rebellious behavior. This behavior is the outcome of more than necessary power exercised on them during their upbringing. The children who develop anger and aggression due to being overly administrated may refuse to accept all guidance.

Why Is Control Not Always Best?

Many parents who are suggested to exercise a balance between controlling and being overly permissive get confused about when it is appropriate to control and when it is not. The more appropriate way in this regard is to provide children with a structure instead of administrating them.

Controlling involves active supervision and tiger parenting, while structuring does include setting rules and limits and helping children know expectations and consequences. Controlling promotes dependence, while structured parenting is a way to help children become autonomous.

But how is this possible?

Well, first and foremost, you have to listen to your children. And for that, you must ask them questions and view life from their perspective. This encourages a healthy discussion that fosters warmth between you and your children.

When children’s questions are answered and they are provided with reasons for instructions, they are more likely to develop a sense to distinguish between wrong and right. Providing your children with warmth, support, and guidance goes a long way toward their overall well-being, as they become more self-directed, socially responsible, respectful yet resilient.

Alternatives to Authoritarian Parenting

With all the drawbacks and ill effects, it is evident that the authoritarian parenting style is not the right to nurture kids. Sadly, many parents are familiar only with coercive control because they themselves have been brought up this way.

So, is it possible for individuals raised by authoritarian parents to go with easy-going parenting styles when they have children? Or can authoritarian parents rethink their parenting styles and become more supportive of their kids? The answer to both these questions is YES. You have to choose an alternate parenting style.

The two alternatives to authoritarian parenting are as follows:

• Permissive parenting
• Authoritative parenting

Let’s explain both these briefly.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are more on the friendly side rather than the parenting side. They do not like to have conflicts and are always ready to respond to distress calls. However, they do not provide much guidance or direction and usually allow children to do whatever pleases them.

The most common attributes of permissive parenting include the following:

• Open communication with children and letting them decide on their own
• Little to no enforcement of rules and expectations
• Quick responsiveness but with no demands
• More inclination towards children’s happiness regardless of whatever it costs

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents believe in proper nurturing and support and keep children’s requirements in consideration. They discuss things openly with their children to provide them with pertinent reasons why they want what they want. Rather than administrating, they teach children to be self-directed and capable of thinking for the betterment of themselves.

The most common characteristics of authoritative parenting include the following:

• Open communication with children and listening to their concerns and feelings
• Setting expectations and practicing flexibility when enforcing rules
• Quick responsiveness but demanding children to be equally responsive
• Allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions and helping them learn from those experiences

Wrapping Up

Summing up everything, many parents consider authoritarian parenting an effective way to discipline their kids and make them well-rounded, good individuals. But, as evidence suggests, controlling can do more harm than good, as it can undermine a child’s mental health and the ability to socialize. As a result, they become more reliant with little to no willingness to prosper on their own.

Therefore, parents must choose parenting styles that promote proper warmth, support, and nurturing. But instead of becoming overly permissive, it is better to provide your children with structured fostering. As parents, you want your children to follow rules and guidelines to learn ethical values. And for that, it is necessary to maintain effective rule enforcement with a negotiating attitude. This will promote healthy development and mental well-being and help children become self-directed, contributing individuals.

According to an article published in Forbes, kids today spend an average time of seven hours a day holding mobile devices or in front of screens. This has resulted in a wide majority of children swapping their outdoor activities with screen time, which makes their lifestyle more sedentary. Not only does it affect their overall health but also their quality of life.

Like most parents, you may notice your kids passing over outdoor play to get more screen time. It has been unfortunate that mainstream and digital media and influential parents have all focused on decreasing kids’ outdoor activities for years by giving them gadgets to play with.

Thanks to commendable efforts by Michelle Obama, the former first lady of the US, to launch the “let’s move” campaign in 2010, many parents now realize the importance of physical activity for their kids and other family members. Many parents still, however, require awareness of why it is so essential to get their children outside.

Parents have no ill intentions toward their children. They want them to be physically and emotionally healthy individuals with a sense of compassion and independence. However, they sometimes fail to realize on time that taking their kids outside is one of the most essential things to achieve said goals.

In this article, we have discussed some incredible benefits of encouraging children to play outside, so read on.

Physical Benefits of Playing Outdoors

Outdoor play during preschool and elementary years develops physical strength, regulates body weight, and enhances immune functions in children. And the best part is that children engaging in physical activities are more likely to carry over into their adulthood with more developed fitness-related habits. This is because children taking part in outdoor activities get trained to consider physical activity as a vital habit to continue during the adulthood years.

Improved Balance and Coordination

Children who play outside develop agility, coordination, balance, and many other advanced motor skills. These children develop a particular likeness to move in a way that challenges their muscles, skeletal strength, and overall body endurance. During their play outdoors, they find room to walk, run, and flex their bodies.

A More Proportionate Body Mass Index

In the 1980s, only 7% of the kids in the USA were found to be obese. But after about three decades, one in every three children met the criteria for obesity. This is because children today eat more and move less than children a few decades back.

Children who play outside more than others are less likely to become obese due to their more active lifestyle. Instead of sitting in front of the TV and computer for hours, they like to play outside and consume calories to remain in good shape.

Better Overall Health

Playing outside and preventing weight gain delivers numerous health benefits to your child. For instance, obese children are more likely to develop health conditions like sleep apnea, asthma, and, in later years of life, heart disease and diabetes. On the other hand, spending time in the sunlight and moving around enhances your child’s mood and strengthens their immune system. Outdoor activity can even benefit children with ADHD.

Vitamin D is called ‘sunshine vitamin’ because your body gets a lot of it when you are outside in the sun. Children usually need more vitamin D than they get from their diet, so letting them play outside allows them to get an optimum supply of this essential nutrient. All you have to do is to take your children out on a sunny day and let them play.

Muscle Strength

Several outdoor activities develop muscular strength in your kids. For example, swinging is one of the most common outdoor activities. This play engages your kid’s muscles that help them to sit up and hold on. Although this activity seems more repetitive, it is like an optimum fitness workout for kids. Several other sports, like riding toy bikes, skateboards, and scooters also encourage muscular strength in kids.

Emotional and Mental Benefits of Playing Outdoors

Research conducted at the Open University’s OPENspace Research Centre finds considerable evidence suggesting a strong correlation between playing outdoors and increased life expectancy, reduced symptoms of depression, improved well-being, and enhanced ability to perform in school.

Children who regularly play outside are better able to focus and learn, improve their behavior, increase productivity, and maintain healthy relationships.

This is because the outdoors is where children can be themselves at best. It allows them to vent their excitement by escaping from a more restrictive, quiet environment usually present at homes and schools.

Here is a brief explanation of the mental and emotional benefits of playing outdoors for children.

Reduced Anxiety and Stress

The way outdoor play helps reduce stress and anxiety in children has been established well in the study of biology. Outdoor activities allow children to get more sunlight, which helps them get more vitamin D. This helps release an optimal amount of serotonin in the brain.

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter linked with happiness and depression relief. Vitamin D deficiency prevents this neurotransmitter from being released, raising the risk of anxiety and depression.

Playing outdoors also helps reduce cortisol levels, a hormone that may trigger the feeling of stress and anxiety. Since children are more vulnerable to getting anxious due to flashing screens, academic pressure, and busier routines, getting them outside can help them remain happy and emotionally healthy.

Better Mood and Self-Esteem

Outdoor play allows children to get in touch with nature. When they are outside, they get to deal with natural materials, and that fuels their sense of creativity. Taking your children outdoors and letting them have some unstructured time to play invokes high-level thinking, which enhances their problem-solving skills. Not only does this improve their overall mood, but they also become more confident individuals. It also undoes the harmful effects of their everyday exposure to stressful environments.

Improved Memory And Concentration

Taking your children outside and encouraging them to play not only engages them physically but also gives them a good amount of mental workouts. Physical movement influences their hippocampus positively, improving their ability to learn and memorize things. Outdoor play also enhances their ability to pay attention to detailed information and improve focus on any given task.

Social Benefits of Outdoor Play

Not only does outdoor play helps children become physically and mentally healthy, but it also allows them to develop their social skills. Children, when playing outside, love to interact with their peers. This develops cooperation, empathy, and friendship among children, and they learn the importance of teamwork for success.

Here are the notable social advantages of playing outdoors.

Communication and problem-solving skills

Playing outdoors not only helps children improve their deep-thinking abilities individually, but they also learn to communicate to solve problems. For instance, figuring out how to fix that cubby house or stabilize a small structure requires deep thinking as well as cooperation. Moreover, soccer and other team sports necessitate each player to coordinate and act accordingly. When children engage in such activities, they try to figure out solutions and improve their communication to make things work out.

Positive Relationships

Outdoor activities not only help kids become more self-aware but also develop positive feelings about others. As a result, they take good care of what others feel. According to studies, children who play outside frequently are less likely to become bullies in later years.

Again, it comes down to teamwork and imagination, both of which are necessary to develop positive interactions among children. Children who get to practice more tend to find common ground to get along with their peers.

Outdoor Play and Environmental Awareness

One of the necessary traits of a responsible individual is positive and respectful behavior toward the environment. Do you want to foster this behavior in your kids? All you have to do is to take them outside and let them interact with nature in the way they like.

According to a study, playing outdoors promotes love of the environment in children, and they grow up as more responsible individuals with a caring attitude towards nature. 84% of the respondents in this study said that preserving the environment was a priority.

Taking children outside more frequently encourages them to take ownership of their actions and develop a deeper appreciation of natural blessings. This helps them realize the importance of caring for plants and animals and not littering in the open.

Conclusion

Given the benefits it offers, taking your kids to the playgrounds is more like the responsibility of parents who want their children to be physically, mentally, socially, and intellectually healthy. Not only does outdoor play make your children better at academics, but they also grow up as better human beings with a progressive and positive mindset.